Today we celebrate the posthumous release of South African rap superstar AKA's fifth solo studio album Mass Country. The fourteen-track body of work comes out only two weeks after AKA’s tragic assassination outside Wish Restaurant on Florida Road, Durban. Where, up until today no suspects have been arrested.
Looking back, I didn’t realize how traumatized I was from watching the footage of AKA being shot until I saw a picture, not even a video, of someone holding a gun on Instagram. My anxiety went up and I felt cold inside. As South African’s we have a history of collective trauma – from Apartheid right down to contemporary events that have landed us here. Last year alone we lost Riky Rick, Dj Citi Lyts, Dj Dimplez, Jamie Bartlett, DJ Sumbody, Busisiwe Lurayi and other well-loved and celebrated public figures.
As if those losses were not painful enough, nothing could have prepared us for losing AKA in the gruesome manner we lost him, and for it to be captured on camera. It’s been exactly two weeks since that night at Florida Road and many of us still cannot come to terms with it. Out of habit I suggested my neighbor visit Starbucks in Florida Road this week for her virtual meeting while our area endures loadshedding. And her response was “Florida Road? I’m still traumatized”.
The Five Phases Of Grief
Unable to process a lot of it myself, I reached out to Zamansele Nqayi, a therapist who studied psychology and practices as a qualified Social Worker based at the Psycho-Social support centre at the University of Kwa-Zulu Natal (UKZN), known as The Ma’at Institute. In my conversation with Zama, I managed to take away the following gems:
Collective Grief linked to the existence of a Collective Consciousness is understood as the collective experience and response to things we are all exposed to
Expressions of grief are described as being unique to each person, yet universally experienced. It is a response to loss of someone or something that is of great value
Expressions of grief include: crying, isolation, being excessively vocal or some may even pretend to be happy in public and cry in solitude, as a form of dealing with their emotions
The value of that which we have lost may differ from person to person, and so we should never undermine another person’s experience of grief
Keeping one’s overall mental health as a priority is vital, especially within the context of South Africa, where we see such high numbers of crime. Self-care and “checking in” with one’s emotional state is healthy and advised
Whether or not we knew Kiernan “AKA” Forbes personally, it is our sense of relatability with him as a person, a father, a son, a lover, and an inspirational public figure that has us collectively mourning his passing
Due to AKA’s assassination having taken place in Kwa-Zulu Natal (KZN), it’s normal for some of us to feel it even more, as this is where he spent his final hours
Traditionally mourning is seen as a rite of passage. And historically within KZN the allocated time for mourning a King, or for a wife who’s lost her husband - would be one full year. Yet in our modern lives we tend to fast track mourning, which disturbs our ability to process and fully grieve the person
On that last point, in my conversation with Zama we spoke about how AKA’s passing has also been a time for those who may have lost loved ones during Covid19, and who were unable for whatever reason, to mourn them - to release compounded grief. We also touched on the effect technology has on collective trauma and grief, where people have “normalized the abnormal” by watching and sharing extremely traumatic content, thereby desensitizing us toward the true value and respect of life. In the words of the late Mandoza, “Hloniph' ilife boy. Hloniph' impilo boy”, and know that your feelings are valid.
If you are in need of free tele-therapy or someone to speak to in processing grief in either English or isiZulu, please contact the Ma’at Institute at UKZN to book a session with one of their professionals. Their contact numbers are 0800 8000 19 (phone call) or 060 548 9137 (Click to chat on WhatsApp). You may also email them at maat@ukzn.ac.za
Written by Lex LaFoy