South Africa recently celebrated the release of the first three of four episodes of Umjolo: The Gone Girl, Umjolo: Day Ones and Umjolo: My beginning, My end! from November 8th 2024 to January 3rd 2025 on Netflix. The first two parts to this four-part dramedy romance are directed by Fikile Mogodi (The Wife), with the the third, directed by Zuko Nodada (Between Friends); and features a star-studded cast with the likes of Tyson Mathonsi, Thobeka Shangase, Sibongiseni Shezi, Menzi Biyela, Kay Sibiya, Sbusisiwe Jili, Trix Viviers, Yonda Thomas and the beautiful Nirvana Nokwe.

Written by Thuli Zuma and her sister Gugu Zuma-Ncube, Umjolo provides four unique perspectives across four episodes, through the lenses of strong female characters, weaved to all intersect at a wedding. Thus far, As a female viewer, I’ve found it extremely refreshing for viewers to share insights into the layered complexities of women in Mzansi, having to navigate our way in love and relationships.

While numerous films emerging from our country may appear to be “South African”, so far as talent and production are concerned, we’re often - in so far as Netflix goes - exposed to the mimicking of the same old American plots. copied and pasted within a local context - this however, is not the case with Umjolo:

From the deeply embedded cultural nuances to the character’s motives, Umjolo snatches life-like pictures into what typical scenarios in love look like in Mzansi. As a Durbanite, I am proud to say Umjolo has done a superb job in showcasing the beauty of our coastal haven: From Kwa-Zulu Natals’ seaside shores to our stunning nightlife venues, our world class cityscapes, to our perched contemporary architecture and of-course, the rich and hilly contours of the Zulu Kingdom.

Umjolo is produced by Stained Glass TV - Founded in 2015 by co-CEOs Kobedi 'Pepsi' Pokane and Gugu Zuma-Ncube – who have become synonymous with truly relatable, authentic South African story-telling – seen across their work, such as The Wife, Uzalo, Durban Gen, eHostela, Ifalakhe and Lingashoni. 

One thing that stood out for Umjolo viewers unanimously, has got to be the series’ starkly realistic sex and nudity scenes.

While on set for the third block of Umjolo as production secretary, I got to meet Intimacy Coach, Thembela Madliki (preceded in the role for the previous two episodes by Sara Bletcher - founder of Safe Sets). Of course, my intrigue got the better of me, and so I took Thembela’s number, with the promise to serve you exactly this - behind the scenes insights into how and what goes on between the sheets, sometimes in the bathroom stall or on the rug.

LEX: Hey Thembela, thanks for agreeing to chat with me about your work on Umjolo and your role as an Intimacy Coach in general. My first question is, what are our rules of engagement here? Do you have to sign NDA’s concerning what you get to see on set?

THEMBELA: There are many protocols to follow to ensure a safe set while maintaining the integrity of the storytelling. There are different types of checklists and consent forms that help set things in writing. The intimacy coordinator also works in person with the actors, in rehearsals sessions where boundaries and consent are discussed and choreography is agreed on. 

LEX: Now that I know my parameters, I’d like to start at the beginning. Where are you from?

THEMBELA: I’m from the Eastern Cape, King William’s Town.

LEX: You’re described as a theatre-maker, live performance educator, and newly trained Intimacy Coordinator/Intimacy Director. How would you describe your journey?

THEMBELA: Intimacy coordination is still quite new to me, in the things I practice. However, it is quite integrated into being a performing arts educator- supervising future directors and actors. My journey into intimacy coordination was inspired by the need to understand how better to work with actors and students when it comes to the performance of sensitive material and sexual content.

LEX: How did the opportunity to become an Intimacy Coach reach you?

THEMBELA: I met Kate Lush in 2020, she was in South Africa running workshops, introducing the SA film industry to Intimacy Coordination. She let me know when the first training opportunity opened. Kate Lush and Sara Blecher have since started Safe Sets which is the intimacy coordination company that trained me and 5 others in 2022.

LEX: What appealed to you the most at the offer, to say “yes” to becoming an Intimacy Coach

THEMBELA: Everything. The work is empowering for actors and directors- really anyone in the industry would develop from an understanding of Intimacy Coordination.

LEX: What was your training like, and how long did it take?

THEMBELA: The training took place in a hybrid way. We had a series of online sessions and then an in-person intensive with our trainers. The training is continuous, as actively working in the industry contributes to the overall qualification.

LEX: The question we all want to ask… Do they actually have sex on set? And if not, what keeps it from being considered “real sex”?

THEMBELA: It is simulated sex. The camera angles, edits and the viewer’s imagination do the rest. On set the Intimacy Coordinator brings along a skillset that allows for the masking of barriers and choreography that helps make it look realistic while maintaining the simulation.

LEX: What’s your favourite experience on set as an intimacy coach so far?

THEMBELA: The rehearsal time with the actors involved is always the most fun I have on set. It’s an opportunity to deepen their understanding of the scene. Whenever there’s an opportunity to talk at length about the character’s motivations and choreograph a scene that holds a lot of meaning. Those are my favourite moments.

LEX: What’s your most interesting moment on set as an intimacy coach?

THEMBELA: The conversations I get a chance to have with members of the crew and cast who might not know what an IC is. I get a chance to dispel myths, to engage curiosities and educate people on the field.

LEX: For others interested in finding out more about becoming an Intimacy Coach, where would you direct them?

THEMBELA: I would direct them to the Safe Sets website. Kate Lush, Sara Blecher and Èmil Haarhoff have established South Africa’s first Intimacy Coordination company and the website has resources that are accessible to the general public.

LEX: Thank you so much for indulging my curiosity. I find your work most novel.

Having just watched the third and latest part of Umjolo: My beginning, My end! I don’t know about you, but I definitely feel like love looks as though it wins in the end. Like you, I can’t wait for the fourth and final installation, coming soon to Netflix, on a date yet to be released.

Discover more about the work Thembela and her team do, by checking out Safe Sets on Instagram and check out the Safe Sets website.

Written By Lex LaFoy